After much sleuthing through NASA files, I've discovered another provocative photo of what can only be a half-clad Martian woman. Moreover, she appears to be posing for the rover: an incontestable sign of intelligence.
It's unclear if the Martian woman possesses a level of sophistication that would further NASA's technological ambitions. Her scant garb implies a rather primitive origin (although at this early point in the investigation the potential for misdirection can't be sufficiently emphasized).
My high-level contacts at NASA assure me that a diligent study of the female Martian (and her people) is presently underway.
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Somewhere, Edgar Rice Burroughs nods knowingly.
Red sky in the morning,
Astronaut take warning!
If the inhabitants of Mars look like these gals, I am sooooo going...
She needs someone to, uhm, clean her up. Mac, you hold her while I, er, hose her down. Or something.
Dear Mac,
After a very close examination of these Martian woman photos, I am convinced of their authentitcity, and have decided to volunteer for the Martian astronaut program posthaste. After a feverish email campaign to as many people at NASA as I could find, I am happy to announce that I have received a reply from Dr. Luis Alvarez, head of the Custodial Sciences Department, who has assured me that for a small processing fee of $500 he can guarantee that my application will be placed at the top of the stack.
As of this afternoon, the check is in the mail! I can't WAIT to hear back from them! Soon I will be blogging from the surface of Mars, and dutifully keeping a watchful eye on the woman we see here, for the scientists and astronauts whom I accompany will certainly have little else on their minds but probing her with their filthy little scientific instruments.
But fear not! My reportage will keep them honest.
David and Duncan--
Mars ho!
(Wait -- I suppose that could be interpreted a couple different ways, couldn't it?)
So I guess Mars finally got those women they needed after all.
She needs someone to, uhm, clean her up.
I prefer to think of all those little dark things as the Martian equivalent of chocolate chips....
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