Posthuman Blues

Something I really can't stand: Urbanites who drive Humvees. Do these brain-addled yuppie opportunists (and their even more pathetic middle-aged counterparts) really need military-spec vehicles to haul their fat asses across town? The "reasoning" at work here seems to be that boasting gas consumption is penultimately manly: "I have so much money I can afford to fuel a military assault vehicle even at wartime gasoline prices!" The vechicle itself certainly isn't anything to look at: it's cumbersome and ugly, like some extruded plastic Tonka toy built to withstand years of generalized pounding by some hyperactive toddler.

Other vehicles I hate: the "PT Cruiser." These aren't cars; they're massive dung-beetles with wheels. The streets are seething with automotive vermin. I also detest the "Mini Cooper," BMW's attempt at vehicular cuteness. The result is a garish, comical farce that looks more like high-priced athletic footwear than something you can actually drive...assuming you'd be caught dead behind the wheel of one of these soulless metal pods. There's something singularly disturbing about petroleum-fueled kitsch.

On a more somber note, I learned today that a high-school teacher of mine--who I liked very much--died in an accident (not car-related). I consider myself more acutely sensitive than most to the fact that death can happen anywhere at anytime, without warning. I'm almost numb to it (aren't we all?) Still, I don't like ugly surprises anymore than anyone else.

If one person's needless death can shock and terriffy, magnify that horror by a factor of half a million or more. These are the numbers of "ugly surprises" enthusiastically plotted by the Bush Regime--for Iraq's own good, mind you. Oil? Doesn't even enter the picture. This is about helping Iraq... Try as I might, I still can't wrap my mind around that concept. I suppose I'm terminally "un-American," and instead of chiding the hedonistic shitheads who like to be seen manning their (mercifully weaponless) Humvees, should instead aspire to own one as soon as financially possible.

One large order of "Freedom Fries" to go, please...