"Needless to say, the 'official' celebrations, closed to the public, will all be held at the base itself, including the Base Headquarters (or, officially, Building #269, according to the Security Manual of the base entitled DET 3 SP), the Administration Building (Bldg. #265), the Dining Hall (Bldg. #267) and at Building #170, which contains the officers' lounge/bar known as 'Sam's Place', the gymnasium and the swimming pool."
Swimming pool? What do you want to bet they've got a bunch of hot alien chicks showing up?
Authorities Investigating Mutilated Cattle
"'I'd say it was pretty weird. I've read about, I've heard about it on TV, about these weird mutilations of cattle, but I never thought I'd see one.' Even the buzzards have been staying away from the cattle, a strange behavior that's been reported in other cases of cattle mutilations from around the world."
Song of the day: "Unmarked Helicopters" (Soul Coughing)
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