Posthuman Blues

I chanced upon a solution to the "not enough troops" problem. You see these goddamned "Hummers" everywhere, right? I figure the only reason anyone would purchase one of these aesthetic monstrosities is out of a sublimated desire to be in the armed forces. So Hum-Vee dealers and Army recruitment offices should join forces.

Want to be a bad-ass soldier? Want to drive a Hum-Vee? Then get your fat urbanite ass over to Iraq and start weathering sandstorms and rocket-propelled grenades like a real patriot so desperate kids who can't accord to buy their own custom military assault vehicles don't have to. Get back alive -- exact date subject to change -- and we'll give you a Hummer. And maybe a free pack of G.I. Joe action figures to boot.