Posthuman Blues

If you're like me, you probably get a lot of email that goes something like this:

Due to my careful search for an honest, reliable and sincere business partner, i ask if you can be trusted not to break an agreement? Still, it took me time to make up my mind to contact you and to offer you this proposal of mine of which my whole life depends on.

Entertaining the idea that this isn't a crude rip-off (just for the fun of it), the logic and sentimentality here are interesting. Apparently this person, who introduces himself below, has been scouring the Internet for a potential business ally. Of his admission, his whole life depends on my trustworthiness. Isn't that an empowering idea!

Dear, my name is BANGOURA F.KABILA the son of the late president DR.LAURENT KABILA,the former president of ZAIRE (DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO). I am 24 years old and presently residing in DAKAR-SENEGAL in West Africa under political asylum.

The plot thickens. This isn't some hopeless nerd; it's none other than the son of the late Dr. Laurent Kabila, former president of Zaire! And he's contacting me! What can I do for you, Bangoura?

My mother happens to be a nurse whom the late president had an affair with during his life style as a play boy,

Wait. Hold it. This is suddenly taking on the flavor of a half-baked soap-opera . . .

and the affair resulted to my birth,but it was unfortunate that the late president did not marry my mother legaly and as a kind of settlement, for my mother and i,my father deposited the sum of Eight Million one Hundred thousand $US cash($ 8.1 million US.dollars cash) to my mother for my life inheritance.

Sorry for my interrupting. Did you say $8.1 million? Keep talking, Bangoura . . .

my father stashed these sum of money and deposited it in a financial house in DAKAR-SENEGAL and my name appears as the next of kin.

After my father was killed by his body guard ealier last year 2001, and my mother died also ealier this year just two months after my father's death, and at the age of 24 years old,i am left with this huge sum of money ,and i need a partner who will help me transfer this money oversea for immediate investment as i have made up my mind to invest in your country.

"Invest in your country." Sounds like it could be Bush's campaign slogan in '04, doesn't it?

Your compensation for your immediate assistance is 5% of the total money as soon as it arrives your country while 2% will be for any local and international expences that will occure during the transfer.

Hmmm. 5% of $8.1 million is quite a bit . . . considerably more than I'm getting paid for my book about Mars, come to think of it. Maybe I should give Bangoura the benefit of the doubt. After all, he trusts me. And I feel a strange sort of kinship with him, almost like I've known him my entire life.

I will like truth and honesty to be our watchword in this business.

That's the spirit! For a second there I thought this might be a scam involving sharing my bank account with a total stranger!

You can contact me through my personal e mail address bangorafk24@yahoo.co.uk

Yours sincerely,

BANGOURA.

Hang in there, Bangoura! Together we'll work this out! And sorry to hear about your mom!