Saturday, September 16, 2006

No matter where I am, I can't stem my craving for bling. It doesn't matter what form it takes: fancy watches, jewelry, hubcaps, cellphone accessories. Purpose is irrelevant. I routinely walk out of stores with pockets bulging with the shiny stuff, unable to remember where, specifically, I managed to acquire it.

So I concoct crude rationalizations for what's obviously become an obsession. "Oh, they must have been free gifts. Promotional giveaways." That sort of thing. Later, considering how easily my mind adopts these lame fictions as authentic events leaves me worried. As I sit fondling the day's loot, I find myself light-headed, nervous. As if my memory harbors events it would rather not share. Not that I dare tempt it.

Bling, baby. It's all about the bling.

(Note: The events recounted in this post are fictitious.)

9 comments:

Katie said...

Yeah, I used to feel that way back in the day when I was a teenager and a relentless shoplifter. I still have some of the loot I acquired back in the day.

Now I just spend my hard earned money on the crap. (See my blog entry about shoes as an example.)

Seriously though...you aren't really writing about yourself are you? 'Cause this just doesn't seem to fit somehow.

Mac said...

It's a joke. A total fabrication.

But don't tell anyone! ;-)

Katie said...

OK, Crow. :o)

Paul Kimball said...

I used to bust people like you guys when I was a mall security guard in college.

Shoplifting is serious business!

Paul "keepin' my eyes on both of you next month" Kimball :-)

Mac said...

Seriously -- I was just joking.

Paul Kimball said...

Seriously - so was I! :-)

Mac said...

I guess my handle on reality got a bit shaky after eliciting that *shocking* confession from Jezzie!

Paul Kimball said...

We've all stolen something in our lives - when I was six, I purloined a copy of a newspaper at a shopping mall. The proprietor came running after me and my parents - imagine my innocent surpise when I discovered that the Dartmouth Free Press was not actually "free"! :-)

True story.

Paul

Katie said...

Seriously -- I was just joking.

Wish I could say the same. But yeah, I was quite the little thief back in the day. But I'd never do it nowadays. Too much at stake. (Though I have to admit I still get the urge to try it every once in a while.)