Lately I've become almost painfully aware of an undercurrent of hostility that seems to have overtaken Independence. Yesterday I encountered two automobile screaming matches at intersections -- not so much unusual as unsettling. Waiting for a light to turn near my apartment, I heard blood-curdling accusatory screams from the shabby house to my left. Whoever was screaming was loud enough to be heard from the road, and I don't think the windows were open.
Later, at home, an argument broke out in the apartment across the hall; I couldn't help but hear it, the walls being little thicker than saltine cracker. As I write, a prolonged and noisy confrontation is burning itself out down the hall.
And then there are the taunts yelled from passing cars, the spontaneous "fuck yous" and omnipresent vandalism that plague what passes for Independence's upscale shopping area (home to Barnes & Noble, my sole remaining haven). I know perfectly well none of this is unique to my hometown, but at the same time I'm startled at how pervasive it's become, as if some psychic flashpoint has been reached. It's almost sinister, like the early stage of some apocalyptic zombie infestation.
And who knows? Maybe in a Ballardian sense it is.
11 comments:
Every arm has a pit, Mac. It's just that some of those arms have big Confederate flag tattoos on 'em.
Alex--
Didn't Mark Twain say that? ;-)
There's bound to be shit in the asshole of nowhere.
There's bound to be shit in the asshole of nowhere.
Camus, right?
Cap'nnnn
Amazingly, the Northeast where I live seems to have gotten LESS rude, obnoxious, and noisy this way while the Midwest (where I grew up) seems to have gotten more so. I wonder if this is some kind of trend or something?
Are you sure this isn't just a temporary (or temporal) perceptual orientation or filter?
Is it possible these are just coincidental (in time) random events that you may be putting more significance or meaning into due to overall dissatisfaction with where you're living at the moment, which may not be a good place, and that when these kinds of ugly incidents take place that you audibly or visually witness, they tend to suggest or confirm your attitude towards your locale? A kind of self-fulfilling prophecy?
In other words, in down-scale areas, where people are generally poorer or otherwise disadvantaged, psychologically or intellectually, there tends to be a greater number of nasty incidents and displays of rude or obviously aberrant behavior. It goes with the territory, as it were.
You may just be more sensitive to that than most in your local area, or even subjected to same, due to the way your appearance, dress, or behavior is perceived in turn by others, but that doesn't necessarily mean one should make more of it than that. Or take it personally. You've probably been suffering from a mild form of culture shock, and may have engendered a kind of negative feedback loop of dissatisfaction. Which is OK and natural. You're a smart, sensitive guy. Ambitious. A fish out of water. Amphibians don't do well in the desert.
But sinister? Some mysterious behavioral "tipping point?" A synchronicity? Unlikely. More likely just coincidental and/or related to finely-tuned (due to your incipient move), anticipatory perceptual/analytical bias.
I've lived in cities, the suburbs, upscale and downscale, liberal and conservative, east coast, west coast, and overseas. Each had their own tonality and characteristics, but one has to ask how much of it is the area and how much that locale is cognitively dissonant to your own needs and wants as they develop and grow.
You are moving at the end of the month, right? Perhaps you just need to live in a rather more hip or cool, somewhat more urban area with more points of local interest to feel better about your place within a different mix of society.
OTOH, the grass is not always greener on the other side. You bring yourself with you wherever you go, and if you are predisposed to a dystopian attitude, you can always find things wrong with where you may live. Where you are now is not healthy. But how much have you checked out where you _intend_ to move to? Very important. And will you be able to accommodate yourself to the inevitable compromise between where you'd like to live and what you can afford?
Look at it like stepping stones--you're moving forward up the path you choose, hopefully.
Or it may have just been the weather in your area yesterday.
Or, and I'm hesitant to reveal this, the encroachment of the secret RN virus (republicanoid neocon reptilian virus strain). Consequent results are mental zombification, among other nasty symptoms.
That can sicken just about anybody! 8^}
Or, and I'm hesitant to reveal this, the encroachment of the secret RN virus (republicanoid neocon reptilian virus strain). Consequent results are mental zombification, among other nasty symptoms.
*rolls eyes*
Why do people have to bring politics in general, and Republican bashing in particular, into a conversation even when politics have nothing to do with the topic at hand?
It's so tired.
Sorry, I should have been fair and said *insert party here* bashing. It goes both ways, of course.
I'm all for party-bashing as long as *all* parties get bashed. Because they all deserve it. But especially Republicans. ;-)
Sigmund--
I was being deliberately histrionic about the "zombie" business, but it really *is* a bad situation. I'm not terribly big on "the grass is always greener," but in this case I actually think it might be.
And yes, I'm out of here at the end of the month.
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