Posthuman Blues

Guess what woke me up in the middle of the night last night? Loud beeping from my phone! I was too out of it to count them but I think it's a safe bet there were nine of the damned things.

The Dep't. of Homeland Security (or whatever it calls itself) has unveiled www.ready.gov, your one-stop online source for endless anxiety. Don't have time to wade through the government's meandering list of precautions? Try these simple steps instead!

1. In case of a terrorist nuclear strike, run screaming into the streets brandishing bibles and frothing at the mouth.

2. In case of a terrorist chemical strike, run screaming into the streets brandishing bibles and frothing at the mouth.

3. In case nothing at all happens, run screaming into the streets brandishing bibles and frothing at the mouth.

But most of all -- be ready!