"We regret to announce the disturbing passing of Mac Tonnies, who on the 5th of July of this year was carefully perforated by several zombies. This unfortunate incident occurred in a murky swamp on the Island of Tihi. The deceased was reported to have shouted 'Does anyone have a band-aid?' just before expiring. Mac Tonnies is survived by a goldfish. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month."
Created by the Random Obituary Generator of Doom.
Snuffy's Suicide Attempts
Poor baby, life is rough for you, huh? No one
seems to see you, no one notices your
pain--except for your friend Big Bird, but he's
always off hanging out with his other friends.
You wish you were him, all happy and curious
and popular and bright yellow. You feel like
his shadow anymore, like the only reason you
exist is to amuse him. It's hard being
somebody's imaginary friend. But stop trying
to kill yourself--imaginary people can't kill
themselves. Sorry. And hey, maybe tomorrow
you'll feel better!
Someday people will see you, I promise.
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
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"Snuffy" . . . There's some kind of morbid semantic weirdness at work here.
(I discovered both of the preceding items at Chapel Perilous. Where else?)
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