For instance, I've got a line in a project I'm working on that briefly describes a futuristic motorcycle with trackballs "sprouting from the handlebars like mechanized fruit." Again, I like it. But it's likely a prospective editor would roll his or her eyes and urge me to cut to the chase, and not without some justification.
William Gibson is a wildly talented writer who knows how to create super visuals without overdoing it on word-count. There's a scene in "Pattern Recognition" where he describes a decoration made out of dried gourds that look "worryingly like human skulls." Lethal!
To date, two respected genre authors have compared my literary style to J.G. Ballard. On first take, this is seriously flattering. But the subtext of the comparison is that I'm overdoing it (if inadvertently) or trying too hard. In truth, I think I'm simply having fun . . . but possibly at the reader's expense.
3 comments:
Well, as I commented on the sample you put up here a while ago, it seems to be a bit clunky to use a thousand words to describe a picture. (That sample and any further comments or replies were gone by the time I checked back so, I'm completely oblivious to any reaction to what I wrote.) I think my main problem is that it's difficult to keep all the visual information in my memory for long enough to make sense out of it. It's like a jig-saw puzzle where I'm being fed pieces one at a time, and not necessarily in an order I might prefer. It pays off when I get the complete image in my head, but it definitely requires more of an effort compared to reading a linear story. Though I suppose that even if you are an accomplished artist who could show your futuristic world in actual images, it's still faster to write detailed descriptions than to create quality art. That would otherwise be the perfect solution in my opinion, let images show the visual information while words take care of the story. Perhaps if I didn't read so many webcomics it'd take less of an effort for me to make sense out of descriptions? ;)
If I post anymore fiction excerpts here, I'll keep 'em short. And I won't delete them a day later. Sorry about that.
Also, go easy on the adjectives and adverbs. A healthy dose of Hemingway might do wonders for your style. And instead of just describing something, show it in action. "He caressed the handlebars' trackballs like mechanized fruit and the hyperbike sprang to life." That kind of thing. (BTW, this is not a criticism. I've liked what I've read of yours.)
--WMB
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