Sunday, March 20, 2005

I'm probably going to cave and post a classified ad online. I've done it before, with mixed results. The typical response I get goes something like this: "You're a really neat and original person! You're, like, one of the most unique people I've ever met and you're really cool! But . . ."

Heaven knows most people blanch at the very notion of weirdness or originality; I honestly think the dating "scene" has deep roots in the consumer culture that persists solely by nurturing these attitudes.

Yes, I'm introverted. I'm wary of big groups. I don't like "clubbing." And I don't have a TV, which effectively unplugs me from the mainstream in one stroke. Maybe all this comes across as some sort of elitism. If so, I simply don't have the time to care.

That said, I would like to meet someone -- and preferably not feed Match.com $20 for a chance to do it. So what the hell: I know this blog has a few readers. Possibly some of them are at least relatively local and potentially compatible. So if you're game, go ahead and email me. The odds have to be better than SETI@home . . .

15 comments:

W.M. Bear said...

Mac -- When I did ads a while back, I had almost NO luck with my own ad, but I did get quite a few pretty reasonable (and reasonably pretty) dates by answering ads posted by women. Sure, you're competing with a lot of other guys but most of them are jerks and women usually recognize this. Another suggestion -- share a couple of drinks at some point, alcohol, I mean, even if it's just a glass of wine or two. Maybe more to loosen you up than her! Also, don't hesistate to tell her that you've published a couple of book. I guarantee that impresses 'em!

Also, dedicated groups of one kind or another are a good place to meet women -- maybe an anti-war protest or some such? The trick is to keep an eye out for "gatherings" of this kind, especially ones that meet regularly. That's how I met my present wife (separated -- but that's another story!)
--WMB

Dimitar Vesselinov said...

Mac, did you try Tribe.net? Counterculture, Burning Man, science, technology...There are a lot of beautiful women with brains..

http://quantumphysics.tribe.net

Klintron said...

Good luck, man. I'm on match.com right now... no luck yet. I imagine being a city would make the results better, though.

Mac said...

This particular city's got me down, man...

Thanks for the tips, Dimitar. I'll take a look.

Bsti said...

It's exceedingly difficult for the wife and I to find anyone remotely compatible....
Mac....You're a really neat and original person! You're, like, one of the most unique people I've ever met and you're really cool! But . . .you are a guy.

Yes, check the Tribe. We don't do the online thing, but meet people at clothing conventions and such.

KennyJC said...

I went through a difficult puberty period so I never met anyone. But even when i "matured" I never met anyone I felt a 'click' with. I like you, totally hated clubs, although I liked pubs as the relaxed atmosphere and conversation I appeciated more. But you don't exactly meet girls in pubs as they are mostly filled with old nearly dead men... in Scotland anyway.

But although I find it sad to admit this to people... I found my love online as it was an easier place to show people your true personality before actually meeting them. I first spoke to her 5 years ago online, and in the last 2 years we have met each other 4 times... she is american and I hope to be living there with her in the next year.

So I wouldn't bother about the AD's. You probably know better than me as you're older, but for me, I am shocked I haven't met anyone I clicked with in PERSON. But I feel extremely lucky I found someone the way I did.

Stupid comment by me, but I understand where you're coming from.

Colette said...

The absolute horror of the 'dating ads' scene is just beyond the pale. I speak from the female perspective here gentlemen.

Yes there are some beautiful/brainy/'different' (translation = NOT Barbie dolls) women out there (not tooting my own horn or anything) - but unfortunately the cute/brainy/geeky guys are simply too shy to put themselves out there.

I've just about given up on finding someone intelligent to date.

*sigh*

All my best to you Mac

As ever,
Colette

Mac said...

I think online classifieds ads tend to be wrist-slittingly vacuous, but I've had a few positive encounters as a result, so I won't be too hasty to judge them. I think the trick is to imagine the experience as a video role-playing game.

Carol said...

Aside from your trip to Sedona, from your postings it appears that you wear a pretty deep track into the sidewalk going only to work, the bookstore, and getting coffee, kind of like a big cat pacing its cage. Other than Sedona I don't often hear you talking here about [i]anything[/i] you go out and do with friends, male or female.

Perhaps getting more grounded and expansive out there in the physical world might be more likely lead to a chance f2f encounter with the mutant of your dreams. In order to be a worthy potential lover it helps to have a life lived more than just between your ears.

I'm not saying give up weirdness as criteria -- some of us do indeed treasure our own weirdness and the weirdness of those we love, and wouldn't leave our warm spots there in the skinniest ends of the bell-curve -- but get a bit more interactive, both IRL and online.

Mac said...

Hi Carol,

That's a pretty trenchant observation. Is it *that* obvious? :-O

Yes, socially, I'm in something of a rut. I like your feedback.

Carol said...

Is it that obvious?

Yes, my dear. ;)

Anonymous said...

What has always worked for me:

- A cycle of steroids and bodybuilding.

- An eight ball of cocaine.

Then hit the teen clubs.

Good Luck,

Biff Brewski

Mac said...

Wow, between Carol's advice and Anonymous' advice, I just don't know how to proceed...

Coach! said...

Mac: You gotta understand a thing or two about women. It's not that they don't like smart guys. Trust me, geniuses like me get plenty of action. Women just don't understand a lot of high-falootin' stuff. Smart guys remind them that they ain't so bright. This is why guys who wanna do the mattress dance talk about sports and other things women don't like so much. Roids are good too! Too bad you can't pick which muscles you wanna pump up!

Coach!

TheUltimateCyn said...

Well... I have AD's and they suck...[ok, maybe it's me]. But, you know everyone said I would get tons of responses since I am a woman - it didn't happen exactly that way. I got a lot of pervs sending me lewd remarks, that's it, nothing special...
(and, no I am not some hideous creature!)
But, certainly I can relate to your AD "issues"... and wish you the very best of luck!
Cyn