Saturday, January 26, 2008

Repli-Kate Teaches You How Genetic Engineering Really Works

The 2001 movie Repli-Kate is so many things: a ripoff of Weird Science, a comedy of cloning, and the only movie I've ever seen where Eugene Levy yells "PENIS PENIS PENIS" really loudly, over and over, for reasons I can't even remember. Here's a great scene where one of the gene geeks uses his amazing high-throughput sequencer to create a clone of a hot chick from some blood drops on a CD-ROM.


If only it were this easy. In reality it's a lot more like "The Fly" -- and I speak from experience. At this point I've tried just about everything. Finding a computer that's up to encrypting a genome in real-time is hard enough; I've been making do with black-market sequencing software that typically takes days to transmit to the assembly module. Oh, and good luck finding a heat-exchanger that's up to the task (although, to be fair, you can sometimes find aerospace discards up for bid on eBay).

Finding genetic material is another matter entirely. Most women aren't terribly enthusiastic about donating samples, even after I explain the viability of the project. And when I show them photos of previous attempts, they positively lose it . . . not that I especially blame them. After all, this is a fledgling science we're dealing with; you can't very well expect immediate success.

Still, I'd be lying if I claimed those misshapen, wailing things that continue to emerge from the assembly module didn't haunt me . . .

1 comment:

dad2059 said...

Still, I'd be lying if I claimed those misshapen, wailing things that continue to emerge from the assembly module didn't haunt me . . .

That's why you hire somebody named Igor (or is it "Eye"-gor?) to take and sell them to corporate labs. He could say they were deformed puppies.

A nice, tidy side business to make a few extra bucks.