Thursday, September 22, 2005

Rita Unleashes Category 5 Fury Over Gulf

Forecasters said Rita could be the most intense hurricane on record ever to hit Texas, and easily one of the most powerful ever to plow into the U.S. mainland. Category 5 is the highest on the scale, and only three Category 5 hurricanes are known to have hit the U.S. mainland -- most recently, Andrew, which smashed South Florida in 1992.


Wait a second. Christian Fundamentalists declared that Katrina was an act of God designed to punish a hotbed of immorality. Now Rita's poised to take Texas, home state of Our Leader, both an eminent Fundamentalist and one of the political world's most vehement denouncers of global warming, which is the root of this mayhem.

Whatever. Call Michael Crichton. Maybe the climate is in collusion with leftist conspirators.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Regardless of who you want to blame for this monster storm, be it God, Bush, the government as a whole, whatever...

Please keep your thoughts with those of us who are going to be dealing this crap, which will hit within the next 36 to 48 hours.

I'm one of them, and frankly, I'm a bit scared.

JohnFen said...

You misunderstand, Mac... Katrina was a Sign of the Wrath of God. Rita is a Heinous Act of Satan. Or commies, of course.

Mac said...

To clarify: I'm not blaming anyone for these storms. Not even Bush.

However, I do hold our way of life at least partially responsible.

Mac said...

Oh, I can definitely buy karma. We're in for it. I hope to hell we're not, but we've had this coming for a while. And worse.

Ken said...

If there is a God, I think he is pissed at the U.S. What would I do to the U.S. if I were God? Hmmm...let's start by tossing a couple of category 4 & 5 hurricanes at the ONE place where Americans crank out 30% of their domestic oil. Yeah, that'll make 'em squirm a bit. Then, just when they thought it was safe in California, I'd throw in a major earthquake. But wait, there's more: Why don't we REALLY turn those thumb-screws by jacking up the GLOBAL demand for oil so that it outstrips supply? And finally, to top it all: Bring in those al Quada assholes; we'll see to it that they get their hands on some WMD. Then the sparks are gonna fly!!!