Thursday, December 28, 2006

I visited a coffeeshop tonight and sat down next to a not-unattractive girl I'd seen many times before. (It was the only available seat.) We'd never spoken, so I said hi and asked her what she was reading, which turned out to be a work of slickly produced Fundamentalist Christian "scholarship" so deeply fuckwitted it made Tim LaHaye's output look like a bastion of reason. She told me matter-of-factly about how Satan and demons are fighting for our souls (invisibly, of course), leaving me to gaze on in mute horror, possessed (no pun intended) by a sudden urge to leave the premises.

At least I got a good look at the book jacket. According to the author, satanic forces are infiltrating in the guise of New Age beliefs. (I would expect that includes interest in UFOs.) Nothing new there, but it was somehow disenchanting to find a girl in her early- to mid-twenties lapping it up so uncritically.

Anyway, I'm home now. I'm considering never leaving my apartment.

6 comments:

W.M. Bear said...

Anyway, I'm home now. I'm considering never leaving my apartment.

Au contraire, Mac! You need to make another visit to that same coffeeshop armed with a copy of "Martian Apocalypse," sit her down (or sit yourself down by her) and convert HER to Tonniean anomalistics. Because she's obviously in dire need of beeing saved from her fundamentalist fuckwitism. (I think its an actual sect of theirs.)

Ray Palm (Ray X) said...

Mac:

Hate to add to your problems, but I was channeling Purple Elephant tonight and he told me those beautiful space woman you used to know picked up a Pat Robertson TV broadcast and now they're become chaste Born Agains. I think they made the connection that a flying saucer looks like two collection plates held together.

Sorry,

Ray


PS: Keep in mind that Pat Robertson once said that according to the Bible, UFO believers should be stoned to death. Apparently those extra-terrestrial babes don't know that. Someone is in for a surprise...

Anonymous said...

New Age beliefs huh? Wow! Religious zealots never stop amazing me. You should have told her that if she believes that crap, then she should believe that satan controls her because in the bible it says that Satan wanted to come to earth to "control" people. And that all organized forms of religion are a form of control. So, satan rules!!!! Even better, you could have said that Organized religion is perfect for satan because for hundreds of years he has had people killing each other in the name of religion. :)

Garth said...

You missed a perfect opportunity to reinforce her delusions by claiming to be her own personal demon.

Mac said...

WMB--

Tonniean anomalistics

There's gotta be a home study course there... Only $500 for a Ph.D.!

Ray--

The spacewomen aren't so easily fooled! (They probably plan on feeding Robertson to a rabid Titanian cloud-drifer.)

Jeremy--

In retrospect, I was *way* too kind. :-(

Mac said...

Pisces--

You missed a perfect opportunity to reinforce her delusions by claiming to be her own personal demon.

I'm pretty sure she already suspected that; I had a UFO book with me!