The infection is caused by tapeworm larvae that form cysts within the body and can eventually move their way into the brain and spinal cord, resulting in neurocysticerosis.
However, there's an even more insidious strain that's managed to infiltrate the vast majority of the United States population. Symptoms include inordinate fascination with television, craving for fast food, chronic cellphone use, the urge to adorn automobiles with patriotic magnets, rampant consumerism, denial of global warming and/or evolution, enchantment with professional athletics, impaired driving ability, interest in "Left Behind" merchandise, and fixation with celebrity gossip.
Centers for Disease Control officials urge calm.
2 comments:
Guess I'm just one of your unelightened rubes, Mac. Let's see.
- I like watching television. (24 has been particularly good so far this season.)
- I do crave a Big Mac and fries once in a while.
- Cellphones...eh, not so much.
- I do have a "Support our Troops" magnet on our car. I was a Marine, sue me.
- I've been know to blow more than $200.00 at the mall in one trip.
- Global warming and evolution? Well, I don't deny either, so maybe there's some hope for me.
- I'm a season ticket holder for the Houston Texans, and love hockey. God forbid!
- I'm almost 40, and don't know how to drive, which I guess could qualify me as 'impaired'. But at least it keeps me off the road.
- Nope, no interest in the "Left Behind" bullshit.
- Yup, I read Perez Hilton on a regular basis, and have been know to pick up a Star magazine at the grocery store.
Looks like I'm about 70% infected...and yet, I still make time every day to read your blog. Kinda makes you shudder, don't it? :oP
Sorry if I sound a little pissy, it's just that...well...sometimes you come off sounding a bit elitist. ;o)
Jezzie--
sometimes you come off sounding a bit elitist.
Sometimes I sound pretty silly, too. This is one of those times.
I knew this would piss people off. I just hoped they'd laugh, too.
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