The object chamber, located on the end that gathers and focuses incoming light from the visible part of the electromagnetic spectrum as well as the infrared and ultraviolet continua, is filled with 10,000 pounds of marbles, costume jewelry, beads, and the largest bits of colored glass ever produced.
"This new data will forever change how we look at the cosmos," said Stetler, who admitted he was "amazed" to learn that all galaxies rotate in a counterclockwise direction and never look the same way twice. "Before this, we couldn't even see the Lagoon Nebula, but now we are capable of detecting up to 254 constantly changing fractal versions of it at once. The further we probe the depths of space, the better we might understand just how vastly bonkers it looks."
God, how I love The Onion.