Friday, February 08, 2008


They're real, you know: I just saw five or six standing post at a busy intersection brandishing placards and handing out cartoon tracts. Not the behavior of typical Hollywood zombies, I must admit, but virtually everything else about their behavior emphatically belied their origin:

Their halting approach, almost human but nonetheless a sad facsimile of vitality.

The blithering oration, so obviously a symptom of some unspeakable cerebral necrosis.

I was able to walk past their ranks with a single hissed "buzz off," but what I really wanted was a gun. According to the movies, one well-aimed shot to the head generally does the trick.


Anonymous said...

i get the impression this will all go to shit very quickly, very soon

W.M. Bear said...

These were Jehovah's Zombies, er, Witnesses? ("Cartoon tracts"....)

Mac said...


I don't know what church they represented (if any). They set up shop in my part of town every so often. One guy yells and screams about eternal damnation. Everyone ignores him (or tries to) and continues shopping. It's actually rather surreal.

Anonymous said...

Pretty biting criticism there, don't you think? Extremist behavior is generally frowned upon theses days, while those within many mainstream religions today stress that extremism is the ONLY behavior they should have. The confusion must be terrible. You got prominent evangelists out there saying that Christian moderates are the bi-product of a sinful world robbing them of their fiery Christian enthusiasm, whereas at the same time the rest of the world hisses that moderates are the only ones worth listening to. Certainly you can see how, especially among people growing up in that atmosphere, it must be hard to decide what's a right kind of behavior and what's a wrong one, while one wants to simultaneously hold fast to their faith and live a somewhat normal American existence. More and more these days, these people are being forced to choose one or the other, and the pressure seems to come from both sides of the fence. I don't completely agree with that those people with the tracts do. Not because I think they're wrong or myopic in their views, but I would think if one's intention was testifying to people about one's faith, one would try their best to seem humble, homely, and forthcoming. Overbearing aggressiveness will not win you friends. But of course, in the church, they'll tell you those that dismiss these confrontational tactics are turgid in sinful ways - whereas everyone else says the confrontational tactic IS the sinful way. To someone in that position, imagine how hard it is to tell one from the other. One is quick to condemn UFO talk as fancy and mysticism, whereas another would be quick to say that such discourse is no stranger than believing in a giant invisible being creating the world in seven days, or the female gender springing from a guy's rib. To the casual everyman, both would seem pretty farfetched, don't you think?

Katie said...

And don't forget the shambling, empty eyed teenage versions that hang out at your nearest mall. :oP

mr. intense said...

"...a single hissed 'buzz off,'" Heh! Sorta noirish, like Bogart in The Maltese Falcon? Maybe next time say, "Yeah, buddy--I got your rapture, right here" with the apropos gesture. On second thought...maybe not.

Jack Chick booklets? Really? I used to collect those. Chick disses Jews, Roman Catholics, Mormons, and Jehovah's Witnesses. I guess he's of the one true faith, whatever that is.

Mac said...

"Yeah, buddy--I got your rapture, right here" with the apropos gesture.

Hey, I can use that!