Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I established physical contact with aliens last night. Luckily I had my cheap digicam with me and was able to take these two photos before the damned thing's memory expired.

The first photo clearly shows the aliens' spacecraft. It was at least as big as a football field, and triangular in shape.





The next photo shows the lozenge-shaped craft that detached from the "mothership" to land next to me. Fortunately, no abduction ensued. Rather, I enjoyed a relaxing stroll through the mothership's corridors and sampled exotic foods from distant planets.





To my surprise, all of the aliens were human-looking. Moreover, all were female and quite beautiful. They told me, via telepathy, that they reproduced through parthogenesis and that their typical lifespan was 5,000 years. Then they lectured me about global warming and stuck a suction cup-like device into my left nostril.

What a great time. Maybe they'll come back.

22 comments:

Paul Kimball said...

Mac:

Did the aliens look anything like Angelina Jolie??

Inquiring minds want to know!!

Paul

JEFM said...

he he he he he

OMG :)

Mac said...

Paul,

Remarkably, yes -- many of the saucerwomen bore a striking resemblance to Miss (?) Jolie. Others could have passed for Jessica Alba, and still others were dead-ringers for Natalie Portman.

razorsmile said...

Huh. Sarcastic today, arent't we.

weevee: khuonqlu (translates to a dialect of igbo only spoken by me. too bad.)

Paul Kimball said...

Mac:

You're a lucky guy, then. My aliens always resemble small ducks, and have an attitude very similar to a certain Warner Brothers cartoon.

Such is the daffy world we live in, I guess. :-)

Paul

Mac said...

Paul,

I think we need to address the exopolitical ramifications of this situation ;-)

Paul Kimball said...

Mac:

Certainly. I would put forward the following proposition:

Exopolitics is as daffy as a duck.

In short, they're "quackers."

LOL

Paul

Alfred Lehmberg said...

Yes sir-ee bubba skippy, hearty giggles _all_ around, a REAL knee slapper, sides must *split*... then you see a little boy whistling passed a graveyard.

That's funnier.

alienview@adelphia.net
www.AlienView.net
AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/

Mac said...

Alfred,

Just a goofy nod to Adamski's "Inside the Space Ships." Nothing to get too worked up over.

W.M. Bear said...

And of course alien chicks travel in "burnt umber" spaceships! Were their outfits color-coordinated?

weevee: zayhaoks ("Zayhaoks!" -- An appropriate exclamation for this thread!)

Mac said...

Intriguingly, they didn't wear any outfits!

Weevee: orztac (That *has* to be a brand-name for something...)

razorsmile said...

orztac - Definitely a drug. Perhaps used to erase alien-abduction memories.

Alfred Lehmberg said...

I wasn't talking about goofy nods to Adamski, Mr. T, forgetting I'll be the best judge regarding what I get worked up over... I was talking about a little boy whistling past a graveyard... that wouldn't be you... I suspect. I rather had you as lurking inside said yard getting stone rubbings or some such...

The latter ~is~ pretty funny. And going to get funnier I suspect.


alienview@adelphia.net
www.AlienView.net
AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/

Paul Kimball said...

Mac:

Welcome to the humourless world of Mr. Lehmberg.

Now, what have you done to Zorgrot??

Pau

W.M. Bear said...

Intriguingly, they didn't wear any outfits!

We might have known.

"Listening to Orztac" -- Sounds like a best-seller possibility to me!

Anonymous said...

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/7/prweb143769.php

Kitty Hawk, North Carolina is due for a Saucer landing in 2008.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, citizens of the planet earth. As a representative of the Carolina Extraterrestrial Commission Squad, I proudly announce in this humble venue that the Saucerians have told me that they wish to land at Kitty Hawk, NC on August 22, 2008. A few select humans will be chosen to be taken back to the Saucerian homeworld in Pleiades to be educated in Saucerian politics.

(PRWEB) July 24, 2004 -- Hello, everyone. 12 years ago, while relaxing in my front lawn, I saw a tiny flying saucer (about the size of a Volkswagon Beetle) land in my front lawn. Out came a beautiful woman of short stature dressed in a gold one-piece spacesuit. She told me telepathically that she had come from Pleiades to alert me that I had been chosen to spread a message which I would receive in 12 years' time.

Finally, after years of waiting, the Saucer People have again announced their presence to me, Gerald Largo, CEO, President, Vice President and sole member of the Carolina Extraterrestrial Commission Squad. They plan to land at Kitty Hawk, NC, where mankind's first steps toward spaceflight were undertaken.

The Saucerians feel that the time is right for them to return to earth for good to teach us the ways of the Cosmos.

The scheduled date for the landing is August 22, 2008. Bring food items, for the Saucer people (specifically their leadership who are traveling in their mothership, not the scout ships commonly called UFO's) have already embarked on their light-years long journey, and will be hungry by the time they get here.

23 humans will be selected at random by the Saucer people to be taken back to their home planet to be trained in the ways of Saucerian politics (to take the place of the now earthbound Saucerian leadership).

Now, in order to prepare for the journey (in case you are selected), here are some tips for dealing with the Saucerians and their alien ettiquette. They are a gentle race, but very sensitive:

a. The Saucerians are NOT the same species as the popularly known "gray" type alien. The Saucerians are mostly human in appearance, if somewhat shorter than us (some Saucerians are taller than us though, but they are usually priests, wisemen, or ascetics and travel alone). The "Grays" are from Zeta Reticuli and are a very secretive race. It is wise you do not bring them up in conversation with the Saucerians, for they have a strained relationship with the grays.
b. Although the Saucerians hail from Pleiades, they prefer the term "Saucerian" or "Saucer People", not "Pleiadean". "Saucer Folk" is fine, though.
c. Remember to clean your teeth, ears, and nose, Saucerians are sticklers about hygiene (it's a religious thing).
d. No alcohol, stimulants, or narcotics are allowed on the journey, sorry. There will be plenty of non-drug related fun to had during your five-year trip.
e. Remember to enjoy yourself!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a monumental time in human (and Saucerian) history. I hope you are all prepared for August 22, 2008. Cheers and good tidings to all, from me and the Saucerians!

W.M. Bear said...

No alcohol, stimulants, or narcotics are allowed on the journey, sorry. There will be plenty of non-drug related fun to had during your five-year trip.

This isn't like the Rapture is it, where you have to sit in Church 24/7, sings hymns and listen to Jerry Falwell preach?

Mac said...

Hmmm. So who the hell did *I* make contact with?

This description of the "Saucerians" makes no mention of a resemblance to actress Angelina Jolie, and they certainly weren't nasty little Grays.

W.M. Bear said...

"Vixens of Venus"?

Mac said...

Alas, they never told me where they were from. Or give me their phone number, for that matter...

Elizabeth said...

The fact you might have desired their phone number troubles me slightly. Should I be envious? Or is your desire for further contact with magnificently beautiful aliens one of interest in "scientific" research?

Mac said...

The fact you might have desired their phone number troubles me slightly. Should I be envious?

No, no, no. It was *horrible*. Every minute of it.