Thursday, April 05, 2007

4-5-2007
Kansas City, MO, USA

Mac Tonnies, author and Posthuman Blues blogger, to go to bed early tonight

In an exclusive statement, Mac Tonnies, veteran Fortean essayist and author of the critically acclaimed "After the Martian Apocalypse," has announced that he will retire early tonight, although he conceded that his schedule might be delayed in order for him to consume several bowls of Cap'n Crunch cereal.

"Actually, it's not Cap'n Crunch," Tonnies, proprietor of www.mactonnies.com said. "I've been buying generic recently. It's generally just as good as the name brand product. Advertisers who claim otherwise are LYING."
Posted by at
Labels:

9 comments:

Paul Kimball said...

Mac:

Well done - the best way to deal with complete idiots is to make fun of them! :-)

Paul

11:53 PM
Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but anybody who chooses Cap'n Crunch over Fruity Pebbles is missing a few crunch berries, if you know what I mean.

Tip: Replace Rice Crispies with Fruity Pebbles when making Rice Crispy Bars. It's so damn good!

-Jason

12:00 AM
Paul Kimball said...

Speaking of cereal, I suspect that Korff is "cuckoo for cocoa nuts". ;-)

12:33 AM
Carol Maltby said...

There goes my theory that Mac's tinnitus comes from a long-ago swallowed Captain Crunch whistle.

Lucky Charms is my vice.

1:13 AM
Paul Kimball said...

My favourite is Fruit Loops.

No snide remarks, you bastards! ;-)

Paul

1:56 AM
Alfred Lehmberg said...

Mmmmm-mmm. Damaged cereal Glutens extruded under heat and pressure into shaped foodlessness, dosed with processed pancreatic freak-out precursors, then larded with hydrogenated arterial pluggers for increased shelf-life and maximum profits. This, after a hearty meal of Cheezy-Poofs and Snacky-cakes washed down with diet Coke (tm), eh?

Sorry... I just heard about Paul Wolfowitz licking his hair comb before and after its use spiffin' up for a TV spot... maybe I'm a little too easy to revolt... but I am revolted.

Folks! That stuff is horrible... sincerely.

Great parody of the Kal-cuber.

alienview@roadrunner.com
> www.AlienView.net
>> AVG Blog -- http://alienviewgroup.blogspot.com/
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e -- www.ufomag.com

2:53 PM
Anonymous said...

"Speaking of cereal, I suspect that Korff is "cuckoo for cocoa nuts". ;-)"

For the sake of accuracy in media and cereal, I think that should have been "cuckoo for cocoa _puffs_." You know, as in Kal's self-inflated ego having to be periodically puffed up with new investigatory threats against those who disagree with him.

He truly is a legend in his own mind (or what's left of it).

9:58 PM
Anonymous said...

back to the cereal box

5:06 AM
Anonymous said...

Speaking of Cap'n Crunch, I happen to know he _is_ actually Fruit Loopy!

Of course, he say "bi" if pressed...

11:16 PM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)